waking up and getting up are two very very different things
SO I GET HOME AND THERE’S THIS RANDOM KID ON MY COUCH AND HE’S LIKE ‘ALRIGHT MAN I DON’T WANNA HURT U JUST PUT UR STUFF DOWN AND GET ON THE GROUND I JUST WANT UR MONEY’ AND I FUCKIN ALMOST PUKED I WAS LIKE “OMG PLS NO I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY I’M ONLY 15” THEN HE WAS LIKE “NAH MAN I’M JUST FUCKIN WITH U I’M UR BROTHER’S FRIEND HE’S IN THE SHOWER I’M JUST WAITIN FOR HIM”
Every conversation with my mother EVER.
“don’t tell anyone what I just told you” they say
“I won’t tell anyone” I reply, as I copy and paste the entire conversation to my best friend
how to give a good handjob
- bop it
- pull it
- twist it
you make it to the final round on who wants to be a millionaire and the $1,000,000 question is
ok do u finger urself
"This isnt a project that you will be able to do the night before"